Resentment. The 10 letter word that can make or break a Sharefarming relationship.

Resentment can start as innocently as the buckets by the cowshed not being stacked quite how you like them, small things being missed while someone is busy. The farm owner being a bit abrupt on the phone. Or it can be big things – it can be the contract milker not checking troughs on the way out of the paddock and suddenly the farm is out of water or it can be being expected to mind read your way through a situation as a sharemilker because you have no clear instruction on how they want something done and the farm owner wont call you back.

All of the above can be solved but it takes action, actively choosing to get the communication right, and remembering that everyone has bad days. But if we don’t deal with resentment at the start (or prevent it altogether), the small things suddenly become big things because resentment is amplifying them. The next thing you know, you aren’t talking to each other, and the sharefarmer is moving on after just one season.

So how do you prevent this from happening?

Farm Policies – the ultimate tool in removing the need to rely on mindreading or feeling like you are having to micromanage/being micromanaged. This is the place you can put every important detail that matters to you for the smooth running of the farm, and they can be tweaked as times goes on and things change. You can have a policy for animal health, pasture and feed management, how gear and equipment is cared for, house maintenance – if its something you think is important, it needs a farm policy. Farm policies are referred to in a number of places in the Federated Farmers agreement, and you can either give them a go yourself or we can help if you don’t know where to start.

Monthly Meetings – bonus points if this is facilitated by a consultant, at least in the beginning. Monthly meetings are great opportunity to check in with what is happening in each others lives (to remind ourselves we are all human beings and human beings are not perfect), and then what is happening on farm, what are the “things on top” right now and what to do we need to get prepared for next month. This is the chance to air the little things – politely – and if you are doing this with us, we always welcome pre-meeting conversations with either party if there is something you want to talk about.

Take a breath and reframe the situation- Finally, before you let the resentment monster loose, stop and take a breath. Consider the situation from their side – has it been a while since they had some time off? Is there financial pressure there? That pause (and a chat with a friend or us) can help quiet down the monster and hopefully put him back to bed.

Do you have any questions or thoughts on resentment? Get in touch! Email Louise at Louise@thesharefarmingconsultants.com or have a chat with us on Instagram @thesharefarmingconsultants